Marcus and Lisa

How much of what we feel in our bodies is influenced by memories of the past and expectations of what might happen next? In this personal reflection, Lisa Fellowes explores the connection between physical discomfort, the anticipation of pain and what can happen when we simply listen to the body without immediately trying to change anything.

We all like to think we're in control of our lives, don't we? We make plans, organise our days, think ahead, prepare for what might happen and try to make sure things turn out the way we'd like. Planning is useful, of course. If you're going on holiday, it's probably a good idea to know where you're going and whether you've packed your passport. But alongside all this practical activity, there's often a persistent feeling that we're supposed to be in charge of everything.

You know those times when you find yourself waiting for something? Perhaps you're waiting for someone to reply to a message, hoping a conversation goes well, looking forward to the weekend or wanting something that's been hanging over you to finally get sorted. Sometimes it's ourselves we want to change. We'd like to feel more confident, less anxious, more patient or more at ease. We want to stop overthinking, get rid of a feeling we don't like or change something about our

Many people who become interested in spirituality eventually find themselves searching for what is often called awakening or enlightenment. It can be imagined in different ways: a profound realisation, the end of suffering, a state of peace, the disappearance of the separate self, or finally understanding what life is really about. Whatever form it takes, there's usually something compelling about the possibility.

You know that lovely moment when you wake naturally, perhaps on a Saturday morning or when you're on holiday, and for a little while you haven't quite entered the day? You're aware of the warmth of the bed, the light coming through the curtains, perhaps a bird outside or the distant sound of traffic. There's a lovely ease about it, before your attention gradually turns towards the day ahead and you begin thinking about what needs doing.

You know that feeling when you really want something? Maybe you’ve booked a holiday and find yourself thinking about it while you’re making dinner or driving somewhere, imagining being there instead of here. The warmth, the sea, a break from the usual routine. Or there’s something in your life you’d really like to get sorted. You’ve found a house you love and want your offer to be accepted, or there’s a difficult conversation you know you need to have and you want it to go